Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: As much as I love Joe's, they're not the reason my daughter is named Jo.

... seriously, it's not even spelled the same.


FedEx just dropped off a letter.. containing the details of my next job..

Agent Sylvia,

Thanks for the satisfactory job you did on the Ivan Stveklavastich assignment. We were unaware that a person's navel could be used in that fashion, nice work. We are requesting your services once more.

Please meet our representative at 3rd and Grand at approximately 1:23am on April 1. Be sure to wear something pink, bring a bag of marshmallows and have your machete at the ready.

The Russian Government

P.S. If your husband wants to tag along again, please remind him to wear a hair net on his face. It's a good thing we found that stray whisker before someone else did.

I don't know what they have planned for me, but if I don't show up for work blog much in the coming weeks, please contact my husband. I hope this isn't another April Fool's joke, my pinkie finger still twitches everyday at noon for five and a half minutes from last year's.

Actually, it was just a gift card. From Joe's Crab Shack, for being an awesomefull customer and blogging about what a fantabulous restaurant they are. Keep your eye balls peeled and be watching for an upcoming giveaway from them! (I like my version better.. and don't lie, I know you did too.) Oh, and the gift card? It says: 'Crabs, the gift that keeps on giving.' Because Joe's is awesome.

Do you like my new layout? I think it's pretty rad. Look up in that corner over there.. no, the other one.. yeah, see that? I have navigation now! So you know.. I don't get lost and stuff. Oh, and for you too.. so you don't get lost. You're welcome. Click around, get to know the place, make yourself at home.. Here, have some coffee.

My daughter is clumsy. She's really freaking cute.. but dang, she is clumsy. She has a habit of somersaulting down the stairs. It's not pretty. She also trips on her own feet, bumps her head on doorknobs, and runs into my butt several times a day.. Of course, that last one isn't totally her fault.. I mean, my butt is pretty big these days.

I'm working on it.

Shut up.

Seriously. Quit laughing, it wasn't that funny.

I forgot that March had 31 days. Not only was I waiting for my archive to shrink back up when I stayed up past midnight last night.. but we woke up this morning thinking it was April Fool's Day. I had a great idea for a joke to add into my post today.. but then we realized it was only March 31st. I was sad. I may have even cried a little.

Last night, I got the camera out to show Aman (he'd prefer I refer to him as Aman instead of J, so as to reduce possible confusion) some awesome blackmail photos and we found that Aidan had made a 17min video of.. nothing. He likes to set up the camera in random places when he gets up in the morning (he's up before anyone else most days) and record himself playing.. it's... odd.

The other night, while we were working on my site layout, we also discovered that Aidan had added $1,150.37 worth of pirate crap to Aman's Scamazon.. I mean Amazon.. shoppping cart. Awesome. One of those moments we were glad he's not so good with the reading yet.

Aidan is awesome.

So Aman is my husband.. in case you all hadn't figured that out yet. Apparently, on Twitter, our PDA isn't enough to give it away. My relatively new friend Niel was a tad bit confused. Especially since Aman had apparently proposed that they be each other's wingmen at BlogHer and made no mention of a 'wife'. Heh. I let Niel know that he should watch out.. as Aman was more likely to encourage him to hit on me and then later actually hit him. He's a sneaky one, that man of mine.

A couple of weeks ago, we were at Target. I know, right? We shop too much. Anyway.. we were on our way out and walking past the make-up department. There was an end-cap display of some new schmancy mascara that was just clever enough to catch the attention of even my 7yo.. Guess which ones he couldn't resist touching..

Today, the wind is blowing like a $2 hooker. How's your weather?
Go check out Keely. She's rad.. and random. C-ya!

I'm gonna go watch my new MxPx DVD with my kids, who are almost all (except Torrin, who's waiting for his) wearing their new MxPx threads. Enjoy your day.. here's some real coffee.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Operation Hot Chick - Week 4

Apparently, I'm one of those awesome people who gains weight when they exercise. Lucky me.

So last week, I worked out on Monday and Wednesday and then slacked off until Sunday. I may have snacked a tad more than usual and had a few insatiable chocolate cravings.. but on the whole, I think I did okay.

My scale begs to differ.

My scale is stupid.

I think I might throw it out the window.

Goals for this week:
  • less booze (what?? I don't drink that much! I just know it has a lot of calories..)
  • more exercise
  • less chocolate (wahh!!!)
  • no more snacking
  • more booty shaking
At least the exercise should be more exciting this week. My other DVDs are supposed to arrive by April 3, so just a few more days of all Bollywood Booty (which is really fun, but I like variety).


Not giving up. This is typical for me. I have hereditary crappy metabolism. But it will right itself soon.. and while it may look like I just gained weight this week, I actually gained and lost. So I'm taking heart that I'm already losing. Hooray.

Starting Weight: 160lb
Current Weight: 162lb
Weight Loss Goal: 30lbj

Oh, and here's that 'before' picture for you.. I didn't feel like taking one that accentuates my 'trouble areas'.. so you can enjoy this pose with Ronald McFondle instead. You're welcome.

While you're here, and I have your attention, go check out the post right before (after.. whatever) and enter my first giveaway! Who knows, you might win that awesome package! Go!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

An Enchanted Evening Giveaway from EdenFantasys!

Yep, you read that correctly folks, I'm hosting my very first giveaway! I hope you're as excited as I am.. Let's get started!!

This giveaway is coming to you straight from none other than EdenFantasys.com! Now, if you don't know who EdenFantasys is (what? have you been living under a rock??), I'll tell you a little about them. EdenFantasys is one of the hottest adult toy sites around. But they are more than just that! Their site also contains lingerie, sex guides, adult gifts, tips, and many other products such as the sensual kit that I am highlighting and giving away today!

Perhaps you've noticed the PDA going on around here between my amazing husband and I. We've been making extra efforts in our relationship to not take each other for granted. We've been married nearly 10 years now and keeping the spark alive between us has always been important. How do we do this? Well, for one, we try to keep things ineresting in the bedroom. One of our favorite places to turn to for this is TheMarriageBed.com - this is a Christian site dedicated to sex. They have some fabulous information regarding sexuality and lots of articles to help you get over a variety of hang ups and inhibitions. They are also the suppliers of the Generous Husband and Generous Wife blog and emails - a daily message with tips on how to keep the fire going between you and your spouse.

J and I have never suffered from a boring sex life (I have 5 kids to prove it) and that's because we've made intimacy and romance a priority in our marriage. So.. with that, on to the giveaway!

The product I selected for my giveaway is the Enchanted Evening Sensual Lover's Kit by Lover's Choice. Sound fun? I thought so too.

Here's the description:

"Make it an unforgettable night" with the Enchanted Evening™ gift set, part of the "For Every Occasion™" collection from Lover’s Choice®. This lovely kit includes warming massage oil, chocolate body paint with a brush, champagne flutes, a dash of scented silk rose petals, and two tealights.

Set the mood by lighting the red tealights and watch the flickering flames dance across your bodies and the darkened room. Next, you can spread the sweetly scented rose petals all over the bed, floor, or your partner, allowing the silk material to lovingly caress their skin while the flower aroma fills the air. The beautiful dual champagne flutes are a great accompaniment to any intimate evening, though you will have to provide the beverages yourself.

When you’re ready to begin direct contact, the warming massage oil will calm the nerves and relax the muscles, allowing for a heightened sexual experience, while the chocolate body paint will make for some exciting play with licking, eating, and teasing all part of the agenda. An informational guide with romantic tips and ideas is also included.

Now, I don't know about you, but I thought this kit could find a very happy home in my house.. so if none of you want it, I'll be happy to keep it.

How do you win it? (you can't, it's mine) Simply post a comment here telling me one thing you do to help keep the romance alive between you and your partner! For extra chances to win, you can Twitter about this giveaway and you can also post about it on your own blog!

I will be announcing the winner next Friday after I have my handsome husband pick one out of his super sexy hat. So get to it! Give me your best romance building tips!

P.S. This one not enough for you?? My buddy Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them is also doing a giveaway! Go check it out!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


Make sure you check out Twenty Four At Heart today.. she called me a whore. (In the nicest way possible, of course.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Revenge of the Doritos


Check out Keely. She's rad.

Pardon my dust. J and I have been working on giving my blog an awesome new look.. we're hoping to have it finished up in the next day or two, so if it seems like you see something different every time you visit, or if you see a random ninja or zombie wandering about.. don't worry, they're just the hired help.

"John is the best! Why is John the best? He does not care what people think about him. I mean who doesn't want to pick on him, or make fun of him. He is a pale white John of a John. Sometimes he tries to hide it with facades. One time I saw him in black and another time in pink. Both colors looked great on his pale outside, but I like it when he is nude. Yep, that pal John of mine. He has always been there. We read together, we talk together. Sometimes my dad would call me while he was hanging out with John. He is an all around great pal. He is there for me at all times, after I've had too much to drink, or when I feel sick, he always gives me somewhere to "let it all out" a place to get rid of all the bad stuff.
John that shitter of a friend." -J-

(I suppose I should clarify that 'J' does not stand for 'John'.)

I added a link to my Authonomy page over there ---->
Feel free to check it out. If you're a book lover, I urge you to join Authonomy! It's a great site with lots of talented writers showing off their work! Lots of free reading to be done, and many writers in search of a little feedback and support. Check it out!

Since I bought that booty shakin' workout DVD, I decided it would be best to wait until after the young impressionable ones had scooted off to bed before projecting it up on the wall.. after all, the lady also has a Kama Sutra workout video. No joke. Yesterday I had a case of the munchies and eventually found myself in the kitchen reaching for a bag of cheesey munchie goodness.. it's a mixture of Doritos, Cheetos, Sun Chips, and pretzels. SO healthy. I took the bag back to my chair with me (cause everyone knows it's more fun to eat right out of the bag..) thinking about how I really shouldn't be eating it and my time would be better spent working out.. even if working out just means walking up and down the three flights of stairs in my house.. before I even finished that thought, one of the cute little mini Dorito chips made it's way between my teeth and jabbed me in the gums. Serves me right, I guess.

The kids are watching Scooby Doo right now.. this episode had an alter ego of the Scoob and I just heard Velma come out and say ".. so don't worry! There's no Nasty Doo." Oh, trust me, honey... there's plenty of nasty doo in this house!

KJ just interrupted me to tell me one of his HILARIOUS knock-knock jokes:
KJ: Hey mom, knock-knock..
Me: Who's there..
KJ: Knock-knock..
Me: I said, who's there..
KJ: No, mom.. knock-knock..
Me: oh.. knock-knock who.. hurry up and finish the joke I'm trying to blog here.
KJ: knock-knock fall on the floor.

See? The kid's practically a comic genius. Not.

Yesterday I scared my husband. He came home and thought for sure that I must have murdered one of the kids or something.. I don't know what his problem was.. all I did was make dinner.
But see.. I made Mexican food.
It was basically chicken and rice, Mexican style, in the slow cooker. Anyway, it was so good I thought I'd share the recipe here with you.. cause it's easy.

You'll need:
1 package of chicken (we used thighs with the skin and bones.. I recommend skinning it)
1 jar of your favorite salsa
1/2-1C of water
white rice
pinto beans
medium size flour tortillas

Now, we have a large family so I made a lot. There was about 10 chicken thighs, a whole 16oz jar of salsa, 2 cups of rice, and 1lb of beans.

Get out your slow cooker or crock pot after lunch. Toss in the salsa, chicken, and a little water and stir it up. Turn on your cooker.
Follow the directions on the bag of pintos - I prefer the 'speed soak' method that involves rinsing, bringing to a boil, soaking for 1 hour, draining and rinsing, then simmering for about 2 hours.
Once your beans and chicken are cooked, turn on your oven to broil and scoop the chicken pieces out of the cooker onto a pan. Measure your rice into whatever you're cooking it in (we have a microwave rice cooker), and then scoop the liquid from the cooker out into the rice - double the liquid (so 1C rice and 2C liquid), unless you need more. We usually need more because that's just how our rice cooker is. Get the rice going and pop the chicken in the oven to broil for about 10min, or until it starts to get golden brown on the top. Warm up your tortillas on a plate in the microwave. Serve chicken, rice and beans with a salad and warm tortillas, enjoy!

Last night we spent half our dinner teaching the kids to use their tortillas as utensils after the boys had all made themselves burritos with half their dinner. Amateurs.

Anyway.. am I boring you yet?

Well, make sure you come back on Thursday.. I have a little surprise for you all in celebration of my new site design. It's going to be awesome. Be there.. er.. um.. here.


Monday, March 23, 2009

Operation Hot Chick - Week 3

I'm a failure.

No really.

But I blame my Wii.

It's still broken.

Yeah, the Wii still doesn't work. I'm not real happy about that. I really liked the My Fitness Coach game. As a matter of fact, I didn't realize just how much I liked it until I started trying to find a replacement. I tried the Fitness Magazine build your own video thing.. but it just wasn't doing it for me. I need something that gets my heart rate going, and that one just made my muscles hurt, along with all the other videos on their site. After that, I figured I would have to cave and just get myself a workout DVD. I figured, 'Hey, we have an Amazon UnBox account set up.. and I have this wonderful $5 giftcard awarded to me from the fine people administering the ABNA contest.. I might as well put it to good use, right?' Right.

Sadly, Amazon UnBox (a program that sells digital copies for renting or purchasing and downloading) didn't quite have what I was looking for.. no matter. I found what I needed in their regular store. But I waited.. I figured, 'Hey, I can always get something at the store and then I don't have to wait for it to ship!'

Target has a LAME selection of workout DVDs. Just saying.

That's okay, I can still go back to Scamazon.. I mean Amazon.

I did manage to find this little gem though..

Ballywood Booty, here I come!

I figured, why not? It would give me something to do while my Kung Fu Kickboxing and Kickboxing for Dummies DVDs are shipping.. and it will be fun for J to watch me do! It's a win win really.


Starting Weight: 160lb
Current Weight: 161lb (I seriously considered lying about this.. what has become of me..)
Weight Loss Goal: 30lb

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Life sometimes changes our plans.. and sometimes it's for the better...

Last Saturday J and I planned a date night. Neither of us is quite sure when the last date night was.. just that it was so long ago that we both forgot when it was.

Though I suppose that's not really where the story begins...

I mentioned that we weren't able to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with my family, right?

My father's hometown in southeastern Iowa has many Irish people in it. His family took up residence there only a few generations ago. They came over from across the pond when the railroads were going up along the Mississippi. Yep, my gramps worked on the railroad.

Um.. where was I? Oh yeah. St. Patrick's Day.

There are several parties and events that take place on the weekend nearest St. Patrick's Day in and around my dad's hometown. Including a traditional corned beef and cabbage dinner with music from McNamara's Band (a Big Band that my grandfather helped start, he was one of the original members back in his baritone playing days.. or was it tuba? I can't remember now.. my dad sings with them now and a few of my cousins play..). This year there was also a performance at the Grand Theater with traditional Irish music (my dad sang at this too), bagpipes, and my dad's cousin's Irish dance class dancing.


We were all looking forward to going but, unfortunately, my dad came down with the Man Plague a couple days before. Seeing that my father really needed to be able to acquire adequate rest and we were not so interested in bringing home any illnesses involving regurgitation and defecation.. we decided to stay home. Everyone was sad, but we decided to make it an awesome weekend anyway - after all J had taken Friday off! So a date was planned for Saturday night. Our first in... a long time.

We discussed ideas of what we might like to do.. things like dinner, a movie, bowling, and what not.. Well, we planned on taking the kids bowling over the weekend already, so we decided to skip that. Dinner and a movie? Sure, why not. We planned to see Coraline in 3D at 4:30 and then have dinner afterward before picking up the kids.

We dropped the kids off... at 4:30. Oops. We talked about different movies we could see, but unfortunately finding movie showings during dinner hours is rather challenging - are the theaters and restaurants in league with each other on this? I smell conspiracy..

We decided to just head over to Joe's Crab Shack - our chosen fueling station - and have a long leisurely dinner. Can't remember the last time we did that! (geez, you'd think we have memory problems... ginko biloba, anyone?) After that? We figured we'd wander around the mall, maybe get something pierced or inked.. you know, whatev.

Dinner was fun. Well worth missing a movie for.

I got myself a pomegranate margarita with pop rocks. (actually, J ordered it.. he always picks me drink for me.)

J's drink was easier to pick.. we saw they had a margarita that was not only made with Patron, but also with Patron Citron (J's favorite.. in case you want to send us some..) AND it came with a free shaker! 'Hey, we need a new shaker!' Yeah.. ours broke.. don't ask.

'Hey, babe? What's that thing stuck on your head??'

I swear, he'd only stop staring at my boobs when I'd take the camera out. I think he likes me.

Now, we also have a strange habit.. nay, obsession.. with making fools of ourselves acting silly when we're out in public. We do weird things like stick straws on our teeth to make ourselves look like walruses, tell our wait staff that we have 5 rugrats and don't see the light of day very often, take pictures of each other through the evening and put them on Twitter... yeah, you get the idea.

Our waiter was nice enough to not laugh at us. And even allowed us to take his picture.. while he tied on our bibs. I totally did not tell him I would put his picture on the internet.. so if you see him.. um.. just tell him 'Hi'.

Doesn't J look happy? See.. I told you he totally has a crush on me.

Anyway, we ate a TON of food. Then we headed over to the mall to walk off our dinner and look for a piercing pagoda. Never found one. BUT we did find Glow Golf.

When we first started dating.. well, even before that actually.. we used to play a goofy old 1997 mini golf computer game. I'm not real sure who had more wins.. he'd probably tell you it was him, but I'm pretty sure it was probably me. Because I'm awesome. But I teased him relentlessly about the fact that I'd totally kick his ass on a real flesh and blood course.. (did you know mini-golf courses are made with flesh and blood? yeah.. think about that the next time you swing a club..) Which I did. Repeatedly. While we were dating.. and beyond.

Naturally, we couldn't pass up an opportunity to swing some putters at glowing balls. So we stood by the trash can and chugged finished sipping and savouring our Starbucks beverages (hey.. we tend to be tired.. dates generally require an extra dose of caffeine..) and ran madly sauntered casually over to the golf course for a round of put-put.

He totally cheated, by the way. I mean, I still won.. but he was keeping score. I'm actually not sure who's score he cheated on more though, mine or his.. He's such a gentleman.

(But I would have won even if he hadn't cheated.. I think.)

After our rousing round of mini-golf, it was starting to get late. We decided to swing by the Cheesecake Factory and pick up dessert on our way out (our dates don't 'end' when we pick up the kids..) and head back to our sitter's house to pick up the kids. Once slice of pistachio cheesecake and one slice of vanilla bean cheesecake in hand and we were on our way. But not without first TwiPic'ing the 'Ass stance' sign by the pond..

'Need help? Get ASS STANCE!'

And what date night would be complete without asking a random stranger to take a picture of us and giggle at them wait patiently while they try to figure out how your camera works?

It was an awesome night. Even if our Saturday evening wasn't spent celebrating St. Patrick's Day with my kinsmen or watching a 3D animated movie or paying someone to put more holes in my body.. it was well worth all the extra exercise I will have to do to work off the cheesecake and bragging rights on 'I'm still the better putter'.. and some real quality time with my wonderful spouse, remembering all the reasons we love to hang out together.

The End.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Operation World Domination

I had planned on posting about our date night last weekend.. But by the time I got all the pictures and what not uploaded, my kids needed my attention more than my blog did. So here is a brief pictorial update from the ChurchPunkHouse instead...

In honor of J's beard turning 1 year old on Tuesday, one of his co-workers presented this picture (for those of you who've been with me a while, you may remember it from Dress Like J Day and my appreciation for senior humor) .

He still hasn't decided exactly what he's going to do now.. The last three days, however, nothing has changed. Same Uniform, same enormous mass of fuzz protruding from his face.. same plans for World Domination...


Aidan is thinking this World Domination thing may not be his cup of tea after all.. He's finding it a bit frustrating, to be honest.

This makes Jo giggle.. a lot. She thinks Aidan is a sissy and works very hard at achieving her father's dream. She wants to make J proud.. Such a Daddy's Girl.

World Domination... Exhausting work. Right Torrin?

Kieran is sure thinks he has it all figured out though. I'm not sure what he's got up his sleeve, but he gave me a shopping list the other day that I could barely read and mumbled something about fruit loops, bacon salt, and duct tape.. oh, and marshmallows.. lots and lots of marshmallows.. Hmmm...

As far as Eliana is concerned.. Well, we just try our best to keep her happy. Sometimes, I swear, that girl is just not right. She seems a bit.. off.

But don't worry too much about Aidan.. He still thinks his dad is "AWESOME!!"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

And they kick you when you're down! Adding insult to injury, Amazon style..

I was cruising the ABNA forums yesterday (many of us 'losers' are hanging around there in support of the quarter finalists, cause we're nice like that..) and I noticed a thread titled: Haha fooled you! - Didn't actually make the 2000 cut... So I opened it to discover that people had been receiving emails from Amazon/ABNA that were stating they'd received the other poorly written email announcing their excerpt had been reviewed but rejected and they'd be recieving their reviews by ACCIDENT. At first I thought, 'Oh, these poor people.. how aweful..' Then I thought, 'Hm.. I haven't checked my email all afternoon... ... ..oh, shit..' I quickly opened my email and found...


We mistakenly sent you a message on Monday stating "Your Excerpt was reviewed by two Amazon Vine Reviewers, however, and their feedback will be made available to you via your CreateSpace ABNA Dashboard in the coming weeks."

We regret to inform you that based on reviews of your Pitch, you were not selected to move forward to the Second Round (Excerpt Review) of the contest. You will therefore not have reviews of your Excerpt posted in your CreateSpace ABNA Dashboard. We sincerely apologize for this notification error and regret any confusion it may have caused.

We hope you will accept a $5 electronic gift card which you can use for any Amazon purchase along with our apology. To use this gift card, place items you wish to purchase in your Amazon cart and begin checkout. Before you click "Place your order", enter your gift code (listed below) in the space provided and $5 will be credited towards your purchase.

ABNA Admin Team

Now, I thought about just keeping this to myself. After all, it's a little humiliating after my post on Tuesday, to be honest.. But just by the sheer numbers alone of people who received this yesterday (like, we started another thread asking if anyone had not received both.. was there really a 'Top 2000'? or is this some cruel way of telling us they lost our reviews??).. I think Amazon should be the ones that are embarrassed.

And that's all I really have to say about that. Hmph.

The Wii is apparently still broken. Boo.

Thanks to that nice little email up there, I now have to take another look at my pitch before I start sending off queries to agents. Poo.

But hey, I'm quickly climbing the ranks over at Authonomy.com, and that makes me feels real good.. Yup. I'm up to 914 out of nearly 3000 books. See? I am awesome.

My kids just noticed a moving truck across the street..
"Mom, there's a truck!.. a moving truck!"
"Yep, look at that."
"Someone's going to move!.... to America!"
Um.. yeah.

Oh, and this guy? He's awesome..

Shh... Don't tell him I put a picture of him in his secret lair on my blog..

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: My Brain Hurts and I'm a Loser


Yesterday was March 16. On February 9, when I flung my manuscript into the hands of Amazon and CreateSpace with wild abandon, I was informed that I would receive an email 'on or about' March 16 informing me of whether or not my book would advance to the quarter finals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest.

The contestants gathered, as they have for the past few months, on the Amazon discussion boards and counted down the hours and minutes until the moment when we might get word of our doom successes.

J and I checked on and off through the evening.. no word.

We put the kids to bed.. no word.

We watched Terminator 2.. no word.

We picked our noses and scratched our butts.. no word.

We tried to solve the mystery of The Strange Sound in the Floorboards.. no word.

J ran around the house in his wife beater with a wooden spoon to check for intruders.. no word.

Jo woke up and J rocked her back to sleep while we watched a few more episodes of How I Met Your Mother.. no word.

So the baby was back in bed.. and we were exhausted. We closed up the Amazon Unbox and got ready to turn the computer monitor off and figured 'what the hell.. may as well check one more time..' I had an email from Amazon! It was 'This weeks top 10... deals on HDTV!'

oh, and then there was this other one..

The Zombies awoke to find their formerly limber and agile bodies decaying.

Status of your Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Entry

Thank you for participating in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. We received thousands of submissions and were impressed with the incredible talent and creativity demonstrated by participating authors this year. We were therefore had to make some very difficult decisions. We regret to inform you that you have not been selected to move forward in the contest.

Your Excerpt was reviewed by two Amazon Vine Reviewers, however, and their feedback will be made available to you via your CreateSpace ABNA Dashboard in the coming weeks. You will receive an e-mail from CreateSpace to let you know when these reviews are available.

Best of luck with your novel,
ABNA Admin Team
I cried.

No I didn't. The first time I read it, I actually didn't realize that I had made it through the first round. You see 'Your excerpt was reviewed by two Amazon Vine Reviewers, however, and their feedback will be made available blah blah blah why am I typing this you just read it..' means that I had made the first cut from the pitch review into the top 2000 out of possible 10000 entries. Yet, when my excerpt was reviewed, it did not make the cut from 2000 to the 500 quarter finalists. Boo.

They found that despite their deathly state, the zombies could move.

S'all good though. This means I have a good pitch, which is very encouraging because it was the first pitch I'd ever written and only spent 2 hours on it.. only.


Today is Saint Patrick's Day. I'm wearing green. We had green toast for breakfast and green peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.. I will soon begin the preparation of some tastylicious corned beef and cabbage for dinner. YUM. I'm looking forward to it.

There was only one thing that kept over-powering their wills to lead normal and sometimes better lives; flesh!

We had a crazy busy weekend. I went to hang out with my friend Lisa last Thursday and giggle over wine glasses.. then she and her hubby came over to our place on Friday night to.. well, pretty much do the same only with different alcoholic beverages. Saturday we had a date night during which we wore bibs, whacked glowing balls, consumed beverages involving pop rocks, and checked out the ass stance.. more on that later. Sunday involved a trip to the old sanctuary (haven't been to church in weeks!) and then pizza and bowling with family and friends. Was all AWESOME.

So today I has been busy. Busy researching agents to query and taking down notes on what I need to do to spruce up my excerpt. I have also joined Authonomy.com and put my first 5 chapters up there. Feel free to check it out and tell me it sucks (just be aware that my posse might hunt you down if you ain't respectful).

Joan was among the living, but now she is simply rotting flesh craving the flesh of the living, only creating a paradox that will destroy the living.

Kieran decided to give himself a hair cut last week.. I believe it was on Thursday. He was tired of us saying we would give him a hair cut, calling him shaggy and what not.. so he took matters into his own hands. He, joined by his 5yo brother Torrin, went upstairs and pulled out the hair cutting scissors and went to work. Torrin was kind enough to 'tell him where to cut' as he got all snip happy with his head. The end result could have been a lot worse.. I suppose..


Don't worry... I did touch it up before soccer Wednesday night.. oh, hey.. I guess it was Wednesday not Thursday. My bad.

Torrin wants me to buy him a new Thomas and Deisel DVD.. He says: "Maybe it costs a hudred bucks.. but I don't think so. Maybe it just costs a little bucks."

I guess I should go like.. exercise or something..

Monday, March 16, 2009

Operation Hot Chick - Week 2

The past week has been... interesting.

As you may recall (or not), last week I committed to working out with My Fitness Coach on Wii 6 times a week. My workouts on Sunday and Monday were decent.. and then on Tuesday, my Wii promptly decided to cease functioning.


So between my toddler force-feeding me fruit snacks and Cheeze-Its, pulling every bribe I could to get the kids to go to bed at night so I could work out, and then my wonderful offspring breaking the dang Wii.. I was starting to feel as if my kids were somehow conspiring against me to keep me chubby. Even in spite of the fact that Aidan is always asking me "When will you get back to like you used to be, when you were skinny?" He's such a flatterer, that one. And a real motivator to boot. I'm so lucky.

Well, my darling husband was kind enough to remind me that I can build my own workout video on FitnessMagazine.com (he works for Meredith, the company that publishes that and many other popular magazines). Brilliant! Then I can use our handy dandy projector and do the video just as I would my Wii game.

Wednesday I made my video. I haven't done the work out yet though.. actually I haven't even watched the whole thing, to tell the truth! I know. Shame on me.

Still, I've been more careful about what goes into my mouth over the past week, and have behaved myself pretty well... most of the time..


Starting weight: 160lb
Current weight: 157lb
Weight loss goal: 30lb

Never fear, friends.. that same wonderful husband has purchased a Wii cleaning disc and has repaired our game console. We are back in business (dang it!). Now, all I have to do is get my game back from the friend I loaned it to.. In the meantime, I shall do some Wii Fit instead. Wish me luck..

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: I am a Russian Spy Named Sylvia.


I whispered that in a lot of ears as a teenager. Just for fun.
"I am a Russian spy named Sylvia.."

I was going to tell you about the secret Russian spy mission that J and I went on years ago.. it involved Jackie Chan and Prince.. and death. But if I told you more than that, I'd have to reach through your computer and kill you. Till you died. So I won't do that. You're welcome. Enjoy living.


So, how y'all doing this Tuesday? I'm doing okay.. aside from, you know, the pain. (No, I'm not talking about some crappy 'womanly' pain or something.. geez.) I'm saying that I'm feeling the burn. Crap. That sounds like code for a yeast infection.. My muscles are sore, okay? Oy.

Yeah, I did some more of that exercise crap last night.. No, I'm not feeling energized (unless you count the extra motivation I'm feeling to lay on the couch and sleep..). But I did lose 2.5lbs! Well, if I can trust my scale anyway.. it's been known to LIE to me. But it said 157.5 this morning.. So there you have it.

The weather is like absolutely ripe for zombies. Just saying. Would not be surprised at all if one started banging on my walls and dropping body parts in my yard... Machete at the ready.


I totally had some stuff I was going to say today, but I forgot all of it. Because I'm awesome. And apparently as soon as I add that Random Thoughts Tuesday button into my post? a big flashing 'Bug the Crap Out of Me' sign starts blinking up over my head. That's what my kids do. Because they are awesome too. Kids are great. You should get some.


I am happy to report that Aidan has officially rejoined the Land of the Learning and gotten over.. whatever it was that was stuck up his butt. The teacher is coming today. I'm glad I have positive news for him.

Speaking of which, I should totally be cleaning my dining room right now and not blogging. But then, my kids should totally be working on math right now and not playing in their room (especially not playing in their room.. it's so filthy it's like a death trap.. Don't believe me? J and I refuse to come in there to tuck them in and give them hugs and kisses. We say goodnight at the door. We're afraid.). I guess it's hereditary.


Yesterday, Kieran says to me: I wish I wasn't alive. I asked him why, and he said: Because all I can think is that when I grow up, I'm going to kill my parents.
Leave it to my kids to go way beyond 'I hate you mommy!' I tell you.. future writers.

At least he's smart enough to keep us around until he grows up. Boy's gotta have someone to feed him. 'I'm married now.. no need for the parental unit.' *Shunk* (that's the sound of him using that machete.. in case you couldn't figure that out.. maybe I should put it away until I actually see a zombie..)

The end.

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