Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: My Brain Hurts and I'm a Loser


Yesterday was March 16. On February 9, when I flung my manuscript into the hands of Amazon and CreateSpace with wild abandon, I was informed that I would receive an email 'on or about' March 16 informing me of whether or not my book would advance to the quarter finals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest.

The contestants gathered, as they have for the past few months, on the Amazon discussion boards and counted down the hours and minutes until the moment when we might get word of our doom successes.

J and I checked on and off through the evening.. no word.

We put the kids to bed.. no word.

We watched Terminator 2.. no word.

We picked our noses and scratched our butts.. no word.

We tried to solve the mystery of The Strange Sound in the Floorboards.. no word.

J ran around the house in his wife beater with a wooden spoon to check for intruders.. no word.

Jo woke up and J rocked her back to sleep while we watched a few more episodes of How I Met Your Mother.. no word.

So the baby was back in bed.. and we were exhausted. We closed up the Amazon Unbox and got ready to turn the computer monitor off and figured 'what the hell.. may as well check one more time..' I had an email from Amazon! It was 'This weeks top 10... deals on HDTV!'

oh, and then there was this other one..

The Zombies awoke to find their formerly limber and agile bodies decaying.

Status of your Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Entry

Thank you for participating in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. We received thousands of submissions and were impressed with the incredible talent and creativity demonstrated by participating authors this year. We were therefore had to make some very difficult decisions. We regret to inform you that you have not been selected to move forward in the contest.

Your Excerpt was reviewed by two Amazon Vine Reviewers, however, and their feedback will be made available to you via your CreateSpace ABNA Dashboard in the coming weeks. You will receive an e-mail from CreateSpace to let you know when these reviews are available.

Best of luck with your novel,
ABNA Admin Team
I cried.

No I didn't. The first time I read it, I actually didn't realize that I had made it through the first round. You see 'Your excerpt was reviewed by two Amazon Vine Reviewers, however, and their feedback will be made available blah blah blah why am I typing this you just read it..' means that I had made the first cut from the pitch review into the top 2000 out of possible 10000 entries. Yet, when my excerpt was reviewed, it did not make the cut from 2000 to the 500 quarter finalists. Boo.

They found that despite their deathly state, the zombies could move.

S'all good though. This means I have a good pitch, which is very encouraging because it was the first pitch I'd ever written and only spent 2 hours on it.. only.


Today is Saint Patrick's Day. I'm wearing green. We had green toast for breakfast and green peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.. I will soon begin the preparation of some tastylicious corned beef and cabbage for dinner. YUM. I'm looking forward to it.

There was only one thing that kept over-powering their wills to lead normal and sometimes better lives; flesh!

We had a crazy busy weekend. I went to hang out with my friend Lisa last Thursday and giggle over wine glasses.. then she and her hubby came over to our place on Friday night to.. well, pretty much do the same only with different alcoholic beverages. Saturday we had a date night during which we wore bibs, whacked glowing balls, consumed beverages involving pop rocks, and checked out the ass stance.. more on that later. Sunday involved a trip to the old sanctuary (haven't been to church in weeks!) and then pizza and bowling with family and friends. Was all AWESOME.

So today I has been busy. Busy researching agents to query and taking down notes on what I need to do to spruce up my excerpt. I have also joined Authonomy.com and put my first 5 chapters up there. Feel free to check it out and tell me it sucks (just be aware that my posse might hunt you down if you ain't respectful).

Joan was among the living, but now she is simply rotting flesh craving the flesh of the living, only creating a paradox that will destroy the living.

Kieran decided to give himself a hair cut last week.. I believe it was on Thursday. He was tired of us saying we would give him a hair cut, calling him shaggy and what not.. so he took matters into his own hands. He, joined by his 5yo brother Torrin, went upstairs and pulled out the hair cutting scissors and went to work. Torrin was kind enough to 'tell him where to cut' as he got all snip happy with his head. The end result could have been a lot worse.. I suppose..


Don't worry... I did touch it up before soccer Wednesday night.. oh, hey.. I guess it was Wednesday not Thursday. My bad.

Torrin wants me to buy him a new Thomas and Deisel DVD.. He says: "Maybe it costs a hudred bucks.. but I don't think so. Maybe it just costs a little bucks."

I guess I should go like.. exercise or something..


Mama Dawg said...

I wish everything cost just a little bucks.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

My hair LOOKS like I cut it myself right now! :)

Kat said...

Congrats on making the first cut. I does suck that you didn't get further, but keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

Keely said...

Congrats! That's pretty good for 2 hours work - some people agonize for days!

I'm going to ignore those zombie excerpts so I can still like you.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Congrats on getting through the first round! That is a huge accomplishment and I am sure that you will get somewhere with it if you keep it up.

Love the haircut. My stepson has done that at least twice. And let's just say I wasn't as cool about it as you were! lol.

Pamela said...

I think zombies are a little weird. But I think you are supercool. Keep up the good work!

Father Muskrat said...

Mohawks are cool, and you're not a loser.

I used to have a mohawk. I got it on Oct 27, 1992--a day that will live in infamy forever with my mother.

Casey said...

Woah, congrats on making the first cut! That letter was confusing, I had to reread it to get what they were saying. I love the haircut! Happy St Patty's Day, I can't wait until my kids are old enough to understand that green milk and food is cool (unless it's moldy).

FoN said...

Sorry about the PFO letter from Amazon, but making the first cut is pretty awesome!

And, LOVE the hair!

Only Aman said...


Made it into the top 2000... having all of you as blog readers has really made her feel like she is doing a great job (and she is). She has already created an account at Authonomy.com. Great move.

Keep up the great work Hot Wife!


The Mister said...

Ahh, it's almost Mohawk Season in our neck of the woods. Needs to be a little warmer out before we shed the winter growth though.

Chin up. 8000 people got the heave-ho without so much as a look-over. (Point -n- laugh, sometimes it helps)

Shangrila said...

I'm sorry that you didn't make it into the top 500, but I'm impressed that you know how to "write a pitch"! Very cool.

Your little guys sound adorable! Pretty good job on the cute, hey? Maybe The Easter Bunny could bring your littlest his toy, if it only costs a little dollars-lol!

Captain Dumbass said...

I wish my mortgage was a little bucks. Way to go on making the first cut!

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