Thursday, March 19, 2009

And they kick you when you're down! Adding insult to injury, Amazon style..

I was cruising the ABNA forums yesterday (many of us 'losers' are hanging around there in support of the quarter finalists, cause we're nice like that..) and I noticed a thread titled: Haha fooled you! - Didn't actually make the 2000 cut... So I opened it to discover that people had been receiving emails from Amazon/ABNA that were stating they'd received the other poorly written email announcing their excerpt had been reviewed but rejected and they'd be recieving their reviews by ACCIDENT. At first I thought, 'Oh, these poor people.. how aweful..' Then I thought, 'Hm.. I haven't checked my email all afternoon... ... ..oh, shit..' I quickly opened my email and found...


We mistakenly sent you a message on Monday stating "Your Excerpt was reviewed by two Amazon Vine Reviewers, however, and their feedback will be made available to you via your CreateSpace ABNA Dashboard in the coming weeks."

We regret to inform you that based on reviews of your Pitch, you were not selected to move forward to the Second Round (Excerpt Review) of the contest. You will therefore not have reviews of your Excerpt posted in your CreateSpace ABNA Dashboard. We sincerely apologize for this notification error and regret any confusion it may have caused.

We hope you will accept a $5 electronic gift card which you can use for any Amazon purchase along with our apology. To use this gift card, place items you wish to purchase in your Amazon cart and begin checkout. Before you click "Place your order", enter your gift code (listed below) in the space provided and $5 will be credited towards your purchase.

ABNA Admin Team

Now, I thought about just keeping this to myself. After all, it's a little humiliating after my post on Tuesday, to be honest.. But just by the sheer numbers alone of people who received this yesterday (like, we started another thread asking if anyone had not received both.. was there really a 'Top 2000'? or is this some cruel way of telling us they lost our reviews??).. I think Amazon should be the ones that are embarrassed.

And that's all I really have to say about that. Hmph.

The Wii is apparently still broken. Boo.

Thanks to that nice little email up there, I now have to take another look at my pitch before I start sending off queries to agents. Poo.

But hey, I'm quickly climbing the ranks over at, and that makes me feels real good.. Yup. I'm up to 914 out of nearly 3000 books. See? I am awesome.

My kids just noticed a moving truck across the street..
"Mom, there's a truck!.. a moving truck!"
"Yep, look at that."
"Someone's going to move!.... to America!"
Um.. yeah.

Oh, and this guy? He's awesome..

Shh... Don't tell him I put a picture of him in his secret lair on my blog..


Lisa Brandos said...

And as if $5 can fix it! What losers! Congrats on Authonomy though!

love ya!

Pamela said...

I can't believe they offered you five dollars.

What. The. Fuck.

Kat said...

You only got $5 GIFT CARD? It wasn't even cash. A gift card that is going right back to them. So really they are out nothing. Amazon is so full of crap.

Mama Dawg said...

Amazon sucks donkey balls.

Only Aman said...


Anyways... You are still hot! Thanks for posting a picture of some guy we don't even know. I hope he is nice.

Any thoughts on your future books?

Pamela said...

Jon said he thinks he has figured out how to make your rank on authonomy go through the roof. He's a schemer.

Teri said...

LOL $5 bucks? What do you get with that? Some other book? LOL - "Sorry we didn't like your book, here's $5 bucks so you can get one we do like." How rude!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Amazon sucks ass. A $5 gift card? I would say that embarrassment and inconvenience is worth AT LEAST 20...

But good for you on moving up in the ranks on Authonomy!

And that guy? Who is he?

Amy said...

Dude that guy is soooooo HOT!!!!!! Can you send him to my house please!!!!

The Mister said...

Wow, everybody seems to think the long beard thing is way cool. Maybe I can go that route again... probably not. I'll just live vicariously through the chin whiskers at your house. And Amazon sucks. That is all.

Casey said...

Dude, that sucks. Why would they even tell you that if you already thought you didn't make the cut? Grr.

Moving to America rocks! Wait, aren't we already there?

Keely said...

Five BUCKS? Rude.

Well, just cause that's the case doesn't mean your pitch is no good. Tweak it a little and get it out there.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

That sucks. and 5 bucks? WTF?

FoN said...

Five bucks? That's like leaving a .25 cent tip.

ChurchPunkMom said...

Yep, a $5 gift card was very much the slap in the face that NONE of us needed. Talk about tacky! Amazon sucks.

That guy? He's my latest spy target.. The Russians want him dead for his excessively dangerous facial hair. Just not sure I can go through with it, he's kind of grown on me.. (see? he's dangerous...)

I'm really enjoying Authonomy.. but now? today I tried to go check the new comment I have.. and? it's gone. Says 'page cannot be found'. Oy. I can't win!

Casey, I totally want to move to America.. them neighbors are SO lucky. I hear it's AWESOME there.

Keely, tweaking my pitch and sending it out is EXACTLY what I plan to do. Never say die! Semper Fi!

oh wait.. I was channeling my inner Marine there for a minute.. sorry.

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