Friday, September 19, 2008

I really wanted to be nice today.. but I suck.. and apparently I like naked dancers.

It didn't seem so hard when I woke up this morning. I did pretty good yesterday, not swearing in front of my kids and just being a little nicer (which is no small feat when I have to drag 5 kids around town). My 2yo woke me up this morning.

"G'mowneen Mommy."
"Good morning Princess." my sleepy, tangly haired little doll.

She heard the commotion going on in the boys' room. They had found the Capital Lights cd in my purse and taken it to their room for an early morning jam session. It got progressively louder and louder.. She decided to go dance with the boys, allowing me to roll out of bed and stumble my way to the shower before my little Cupcake woke up. AND I got to shower alone since she was busy in the boys' room. SCORE.

Upon getting out of the shower, I realized that the boys had turned their little cheap-o cd player all the way UP. and were in there with the door shut. Hm. A little early morning hearing damage? Nice. Jo was yelling for me from her crib, doubtlessly woken by the insanely loud music from across the hall.

I collected my screaming baby from her cage and took her to my room to nurse, grumbling about having to feed the baby before even getting dressed (which often requires collecting clothing items from various corners of the house). It wasn't long before I heard the boys' door open and I silently wished the music were quieter so they could hear me tell them to turn it down...

As I pondered how ridiculous my pre-coffee thoughts were Monkey came into my room to alert me of my darling Princess's misbehavior..


"Ellie's in the bathroom, playing with soap."
"Oh.. goody... ELLIE!!!"

Yep. Can't hear me.

"Please go get your dad.. I can't do anything about it when nursing the baby."

J, being interrupted from his pre-work work came downstairs intervention style to stop said toddler from turning herself into a soap propelled rocket girl. He removed the soap from her possession and freed her from her now rather fragrant pajamas.. He stopped by the bedroom to see what my excuse was for not being able to attend to the incident and informed the nursing infant that she needed to 'Hurry up.'


She 'finished' her meal upon his request (she let go of me to give Daddy a morning greeting, just long enough for me to hide from her), and I sat her on the bed (much to her shrill dismay) with her brother there to watch over her. I then (still wrapped in a towel, mind you) went to the bathroom to tend to the other female child who was yelling at me to find her sitting in the tub in her pull-up. I removed the pull-up and turned on the water for her bath, and went back to my room to dress, sending Monkey downstairs to find my shirt.

We yelled back and forth as I gathered the rest of my attire from various laundry bags and baskets and let the bath tub fill. He finally found the 'black shirt with the bird on it' and brought it up to me just in time for me to go rinse the soap off my 2yo and wash off last night's Crayola marker tattoos.

"Look mom, I drew a happy face on her forehead."

Hooray, my children were ready to go out in public!


Babies were dressed, shoes were slipped on and we all headed for the van as J announced he better get his tardy ass to work before he got in trouble.

Picked up coffee and pumpkin bread at Caribou (yay for pay day), dropped the dad at the office and were soon on our way to Target.

I get Princess out of the car and she says to me, "Say hew mommy, I be wight back.." and heads for the cart return to get me a shopping cart. So helpful. I try to put her in it and she screams at me. Apparently she wanted to scale Mt Shopping Cart herself and get in on her own. Um.. right.

Meanwhile, Monkey is getting the stroller out for the already unbuckled Cupcake who is trying to sky dive out of her car seat without a chute. I give Princess a boost sufficient enough to help her without doing it for her and then hold the baby back with one hand while steadying the stroller with the other so he can set it up. Phew. Into Target we ventured.. as we walk in the front door? I realize my coffee is still in the car. FAIL.

We shop. We spend more money than we should (cause seriously, we should be spending NONE), and I cry a little while we walk to the car. I load up the bags and the baby and the stroller and then sit for 5min arguing with Princess about her getting buckled into her seat. Ugh. I chug some coffee, hoping to chase off the dull headache that has already started to sneak up on me.

Buckled. Family Force 5 lifts our mood as we blast it all the way home. And I quietly hope that all those people who came into contact with me and surely noticed my nasty exasperated attitude were forgiving due to the fact that I had 5 small children in tow.. while wishing they could have been impressed and think "Wow.. she handles all those kids so well."



So I hop online to chill out for a bit after popping a frozen pizza in the oven for lunch. A friend and I talk back and forth on Twitter in bad Spanish because I've recently been chatting with a stranger from Ecuador and using this site to do so as I really don't know Spanish (I just pretend to).

Crap the pizza is burning.

She makes fun of me for saying "¿usted disfruta de fotografía?" which apparently can mean 'you like photography?' and 'you like shooting?'.. makes sense if you think about it.

We go back and forth a bit and I say.. "
Acabo de llegar a casa después de hacer compras con mis niños. era costoso. oh.. and Yo no hablo español." which apparently included 'he's expensive' (was saying I just got back from shopping with the kids, it was expensive).. and she then accuses me of liking naked dancers.

So I accidentally (note: have not finished coffee yet) click to reply to a Christian co-worker of J's and say "
Sí, me encanta el desnudo bailarines." Um. Oops. I quickly deleted it and informed him that 'if he saw it' I had intended it for someone else.. Cause I really want J's co-workers to know about my love for nude dancers.



LaBresh said...

Weird. hate it when my wife says crazy stuff to my co-workers.

Amy said...

lady you are crazy and that is why i love you.

jenboglass said...

So I stopped by because I've seen and loved your name in the comments section of a few blogs. I'm glad I did. Love the first pic. Also, I'm a huge fan (not really) of the Hoff. I touched his car Kit in the 80s after he told me not to. That's just the way I roll.

The Mister said...

FF5 is a big favorite with the short people over here. Even the baby sings along.

crimson mercy said...

Hey Megan! Just wanted to say thanks for the comment, and sorry you had such a sucky day. : )
Love ya -Erin

Pamela said...

I know he already told you this, but the dayton time rocks hard to FF5.

And the baby with the mohawk throws the sign.

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