you melt my face off.. baybeee

And you make me feel like a teenager again..

Last night was date night for J and I. We abandoned our 5 hoodlums at the home of some friends (brave souls) and headed out to...
J: soo... what do you want to do?
M: Heck if I know! I don't really care much.. I'm easy.
J: Heh.. you said easy..
M: Shut up.. you know what I mean. And besides, at this point even urinating without an audience sounds like treat.
J: You wanna see Dark Knight? We could go to the mall, maybe grab some dinner and see a movie?
M: Sure. Sounds great!

So we stopped by the house to put some clothes on that didn't have little handprints, boogers, and dirt on them.. or smell like office.. and then headed out to one of the local malls. We got there only to have The Man rain on our parade.. only showing was at 8pm.. putting us back in the car at nearly 11. Not gonna work, kids were at friend's house, not home. I was ok with it though.. we got to walk around and talk to each other instead of sit in the dark and.. well.. not talk to each other.

So, we wandered aimlessly out into the mall.. not quite sure what to do with ourselves without 5 midgets in tow.. and headed toward Hot Topic. Wow. SO much easier to navigate without a stroller and group of small children. As we walked in, we noticed a poster:

Underoath
Preview Listening Party
August 22, 7pm

What luck!! So we did our usual browsing the store while listening to some new Underoath and hit up the CD rack to find the new Family Force 5. Score. (Yep. Christian music sold at Hot Topic) Then something on their listening panel caught J's eye.. The Austrian Death Machine.

J: Ooh! The Austrian Death Machine!
M: The who's a whatsy??
J: The Austrian Death Machine.. it's from one of the guys in As I Lay Dying.. we need to check it out!

So we shared the one pair of headphones like a couple teenagers sneaking around the mall when they should be doing homework and took a listen.. ROCKS. We bought it. Along with a bunch of other crap.

Then we wandered around Scheels for a while. The All Sports Store. Good gravy people.. they need to hand out maps at the door like they do at amusement parks for crying out loud! We perused the camping gear first..

J: Ooh! [yeah, he does that a lot when we're shopping.. we don't get out often, so it's like we only see this stuff online and in magazines normally.. then we go out in public and see that it actually exists..] a hiking stick! I need one of those for work..
M: Um... what??? Did they install some new mountain ranges in the office?? old ones not exciting enough as they did not require said sticks??
J: No. For killing people.
M: Oh. Of course. Silly me.
J: I could totally sneak up on people with it.. around corners, over cubicle walls.. and stab them in the back of the head.. and they'd be all 'Ungh!! Why am I dead??'

Ok.. that one had me giggling. Cause when I die.. I'll totally be saying 'Ungh.. why am I dead??' with my last breath. So, that was about all our ADD shopping capacity could handle so we were headed for the door and..

M: Hey, I want to check out the swim wear.. So I can actually see what the suits feel like and stuff before I buy one online. [dude.. it's SO cheaper.]
J: Ooh! [see.. told you.] Skate boards!!!

So we checked out the skateboards. They had some lovely overpriced stuff and some lame flimsy ramps and what not.. and..

J: Hey, try out the long board, babe.
M: Um.. right.. No.
J: Come on, it's easy. You can totally do it. Here I'll hold your purse..

I knew he wasn't going to leave me alone unless I humored him, so I put my foot on the board and rolled it back and forth.

M: Nice.
J: No. Come on, give it a push!
M: Um. No thanks. I rather prefer my rear end UNbruised thank you.
J: Here I'll hold onto you...

Lucky I didn't fall on my ass. Nothing like a little public humiliation, har har. At least he now has confirmation that the wife can not ride a skate board. I can't even ride a dang bike, how the heck am I supposed to balance a skate board?? Right.

So we started looking for the swimwear.. passing by their own fudge shop and meat shop and ads for cabin rentals..

M: Ooh, specialty meats.
J: I've got some specialty meat right..
M: Shut up.

Had to ask someone for directions to the swim suits.. big. store. But hey, it killed time, burned calories, whatever.. or something. The All Sports Store.. just shopping here is a work out!

J: You like any of these suits?
M: Yeah. They're ok.. but I don't see the ones I was thinking of buying. Lame.. Or is that one of them? ... Or is that one? .. oh, heck.. Oh, here's a couple reversible suits..
J: Reversible? Oh. Look, that one's brown on the inside. That's for when you're about to race and you crap yourself. You know.. camouflage or something.
M: Shut up or I'll order you a Speedo.

Yeah. I take him out in public.

Time for dessert!! Off to the Cheesecake Factory! We were expecting something more along the lines of the Fudge Factory where you just go in and select out of a glass case and take it home.. not realizing there's a whole restaurant and stuff. Wow. Need to get out more. So we sat down and, feeling a little hungry, had our waitress give us detailed reviews of all the appetizers and cocktails and cheesecakes to help us decide.. I'm not kidding. We really did. She actually had to leave our table a couple times to help other people in the middle of it. Awesome.

We had some Avocado Egg Rolls, Ahi Tuna Tempura Roll, a Mojito and a Georgia Peach (don't ask.. it was good), and ordered some cheesecake to go. Yum. Yum. And more Yum.

We hopped in the car and headed toward our gracious sitter's home and cranked up some Austrian Death Machine. We rolled down the windows and blasted it and giggled when people next to us at the stop lights rolled their windows up. It's an entire album mocking Arnold Schwarzenegger, every song based on lines from his movies. hi.lar.i.ous. It was like a timewarp, taking me back to my hardcore roots.. reminding me that I'm a watered down version of what I was when I was a teenager. Rewinding to my long haired, plaid flannel shirt, ripped jeans, docs, and Headbanger's Ball t-shirt days. I forgot how much I could like that music. It did help that we laughed our guts out all the way to collect our kids. I kind of missed that hard driving beat that makes your head feel like it's going to pop without making it hurt. It makes your innards run for cover for fear of implosion. It was awesome. And did I mention hilarious? Yeah.

Who Is Your Daddy? What Does He Do? (Kindergarten Cop)



Then, shortly before we arrived, it ended. So we popped in Family Force 5 and did our best to Dance or Die without.. well.. um.. dying.

Love Addict (Since Dance or Die doesn't have a video yet.. but my kids totally dig this song and Booger sings it all the time..)