my crazy cupcake

My baby is both insanely adorable and.. well.. insane. She drives me crazy with her cuteness while also driving me crazy with her screaming-smacking-jumping-pinching-crying-clinging antics. One amazing little girl, if I do say so myself. And I do.

Her birthday is fast approaching and I'm not ready for it. No, I don't mean in the sense of party, cake, guests, candle, and gifts.. I mean, she's not old enough to turn one. I realize that I still have about 5 weeks.. But I think back to this time a year ago...

Big round belly full of baby.




I was busily setting up a spot for little baby in our room and purchasing yet another carseat to squeeze into our van. Having conversations with my Monkey about how he was sure it would be a baby girl and that he thought we should name her 'Cupcake' because it was a 'beautiful name'. Yes, it feels like that was a year ago.. it's amazing how time accelerates after the birth of a child. Passing so slowly as you await their arrival and then WHAM! all of a sudden, as soon as that cord is cut.. warp speed ahead! She's too little, too young, to be turning one.

She's the 'favorite' of many.. so sweet, spunky, smart, and silly.. sometimes she reminds me of myself a little.. the me that people don't really know. The part that takes work to get to, too vulnerable to be constantly exposed.

Her birth was so special for so many.. almost as much of an 'event' as her oldest brother's.. but so much more... perfect. His was in a cramped hospital room with more people than I wanted, some expressly uninvited - causing me to rethink my options in subsequent pregnancies. He was in a hurry.. unexpectedly rushed and a little unprepared (just as the circumstances of his conception), not quite ready when the moment came. It was still better than I imagined it would be, leaving me with no regrets. Hers, more carefully planned, my midwife honoring all of my few wishes.. In the privacy of my own bedroom, with only invited guests, she was born on my own bed, the very bed she was conceived on. Welcomed into the world by her family and some very honored teen age girls who still treasure the experience as they do her.




Through all the crap that we've been though this past year, she has been a constant source of joy. That little bright spot. We've enjoyed sharing her with other people in our lives. Enjoyed her laughter, her smiles, her giggles, hugs, and snuggles. Her obvious desire to bring smiles to our faces, her delight in making us laugh and just being a part of our household. Even Wizmo seems entranced with her, in spite of the torment she provides him with, always coming back for more pinches, smacks, and tail yanks.

I know that she will be an amazing girl, fun to be around and filling our house with laughter. Especially when she gets old enough to understand that trying to yank out mommy's nose screw is really not that funny!

Sweet little baby girl.. don't lose your spunk! Don't let the world beat you down and make you feel small. Don't let people kill your spirit. I wish I could build a protective shield around you so that no one could hurt you or damage you. Don't be afraid to fight back. I love you.




My name is Jo
and I like to dance,
My name is Jo
and I like to dance,
My name is Jo
and I like to dance....
Buuuuutttt....
I GOT NO PANTS!!
I GOT NO PANTS!!
I GOT NO PANTS, PANTS, PANTS, PANTS, PAANTS..