Tuesday, June 9, 2009

How I'm Surviving Being a Mom of 5 Without Murdering Someone

Lots of sex.


How do you think all these kids got here??

Yep, we're talking sex today, folks. I recently read an article that caught my eye in the SexIs online magazine produced by EdenFantasys regarding the much sought after 'female orgasm'.. more on that later (hopefully in a less run-on fashion)..

Seriously though, I find it sad that so many people don't make their sex lives as much of a priority once they become parents. Believe me when I say that I know how difficult it can be to make time/energy/effort to get each other in the mood, get yourself in the mood, and be capable of doing the deed.. but is it not worth it?

As they say, sex is like pizza.. even when it's bad, it's still good!

But there's more to sex than just good or bad, fun or chore, work or play.. it has benefits. As in, health benefits! Sex is good for you, both mentally and physically.

Here are some examples:
  • relieves stress. who doesn't need less stress?
  • boosts your immune system. even just once or twice a week can help your body produce more immunoglobulin A!
  • burns calories. I know I have extra calories to burn..
  • improves cardiovascular health. yep, all that huffin' and puffin' does a body good..
  • boosts self-esteem. who doesn't want to feel better about themselves?
  • improves intimacy. lets get that oxytocin flowing!
  • reduces pain. hooray for endorphins!
  • reduces prostate cancer risk. and cancer sucks.
  • strengthens pelvic floor muscles. better than kegels!
  • helps you sleep better. come on.. as parents, we all need better sleep, right?
Now, on occasion, I do hear women answer the question "Isn't it worth it?" with a "No." or "Not really, I'd rather just go to sleep."

It makes me wonder. Are they just not satisfied with their sex lives? If they're not, they should find a way to improve it. Because, sex is important! It's part of who we are.. it's how God made us.

Now, it's becoming more widely known that not all women are 'orgasmic'. Meaning, not all women have orgasms. When asked if they do, women give a variety of responses ranging from 'I can't.' or 'Hardly ever.' to 'I'm not sure.' and 'Yes, definitely!'.

I think it's wonderful that, despite the over abundant mingling of sex and culture, people are opening up more and realizing that a healthy sex life is indeed important. Even in more religious circles, I have noticed that women are more willing to open up to each other and discuss more intimate details to help better their lives in the bedroom. However, I have noticed that a lot of the discussion among women tends to be how to better please her man. And, while I am all for being all you can be in the bedroom, what about you, ladies?? Are you satisfied? Because that should be a priority too, just ask your man. I'm sure he'd agree.

There are a lot of things that are not covered in sex education these days. And while I don't think that everything needs to be covered when teaching our teens about sex, I do think that 1) they need more practical information than they are getting and 2) there needs to be resources for people who do want to find out more about the nuts and bolts of getting it on.

I personally have found the SexIs site interesting, informative, and even funny. Because when you really stop to think about it.. sex is very funny. Another good resource I have enjoyed is TheMarriageBed - for those who might still be feeling shy and would like a Christian perspective on sex and intimacy. So go, read, learn, and then get busy! It's good for you.


Kat said...

Amen! WIthout getting into too much detail, if I am not getting any regularly I get irritable.

Drew G (Eden Fantasys) said...

It is always important to maintain a healthy sex life with your partner for both body and mind. Great post !!

Only Aman said...

It makes a difference in my attitude. I noticed lack of sex does not help my depression. I also know that when you please the other person it is way better than just pleasing yourself.

Nice post, i will have to check out some of those links.


Lisa said...

bow-chicka-wow-wow! When's my husband getting home? I need to sleep tonight!

But on a serious note, ladies, speak up in the bedroom! No need to be shy! Your husband WANTS to please you! (Usually more than he wants the pleasure himself)

GypsyJ said...

So true - I am much nicer to my husband when he's taking care of me sexually. That's why number 3 is on the way!

Irish Gumbo said...

Sex is indeed funny...that's why i plan on being a comedian! (badabing!)

Thank you for that!

Hey, what do mean, sex leads to kids? Whaaa?!

Hit 40 said...

I thought my friend's health final was risky to post!! LOL!!


Kellee said...

I totally agree with you on that one. People often forget how important those sexy hormones are in bonding. It's how you stay connected to your partner, people. And it's fun. And all the other things you listed.

And I totally agree with Lisa. Most guys aren't, "As long as I get mine.." kind of guys. It feeds their ego to be able to please you. Makes them feel manly and all that. What guy doesn't want to believe that he is dynamite in the sack? Tell them, guide them, help them, etc... it's the best thing for both of you. And if you aren't with someone that you can do that with, then there are bigger problems. Great post! :)

Pokapolas said...

Yeah, we got to number 4 with increasing birth problems and had to send Mr Pokapolas to the snip snip Doc.

Either that or nada sex, just not an option, lack of it makes us irritable and the days so unbearably empty after a while!

Love this post and thumbs up for your honesty :)

Anonymous said...

Excellent points!! I know I should 'give in' more often because when I do it's fabulous. I will definitely keep this in mind next time hubby starts pawing at me.

Hope said...

The worst thing one woman friend can say to another woman friend in a "sex" conversation is, "oh your only having sex once a month :(....we HAVE to have it at least once to a couple times a day. That seriously comes across like she is a major bragging asshole.

Ok that aside. I agree that sex is important in a marriage. It may not be as important to some as it is for others though. Its ok if people have sex once a week or once a month if they have an close and intimate relationship in all other forms.

As an old woman now i wont be caught dead wondering how i can PLEASE my man. I have profected that and seriously most men are pretty damn easy to please in that area. Your so right that the woman should consider making herself happy and pleased in the bed.

badassdadblog said...

My single favorite source for sex advice, ideas, and frequent comedy is Dan Savage. You can find him at http://www.thestranger.com/savage. I mostly listen to his podcast, though his column and blog are good as well. I strongly recommend him to anyone who has sex, likes sex, or ever hopes to have sex.

Chris Hoke said...

I whole-heartedly second that Dan Savage recommendation. I regularly read his column wide-eyed and mouth agape.

Speaking of which, I'll now count myself amongst your regular readers. Excellent post, and just a lovely blog to boot. Love the hair, too.

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