You can skip this one.. because I suck today.

So, I had pretty much decided I wasn't going to post today. See, my blog is supposed to be mostly for my real writing.. not that you all mind me posting a bunch of random crap (actually you seem to be enjoying that more.. hm), but whatever. Right?

Anyway.

I wanted to post something really awesome. Cause I feel like my blog kind of sucks lately. Like I'm just pulling stuff out of my ass and throwing it up there.. and what comes out of your ass? Shit. Yep, that's right.

Whatever.

I thought about posting today about the whole 'ChurchPunk' thing.. People ask me now and then about my 'name' and what it means and how can I be Christian and be a punk and all that crap.. But I just can't seem to sort it out and get it written. Know what I mean? It's kind of confusing and jumbled and stuff. I could make it into a list easier than I could make it into a blog post.. Maybe that's where I should start.

Yeah.

So why am I posting today? Ah, hell if I know. I'm bored, I guess. Shut up. No really, I just wanted to tell you all that I suck. I do. Why? I'll tell you why.

Because we're not going to see the Watchmen tomorrow. That's why. We've been looking forward to it for some time now.. Both of us have. And I was totally gonna finish the book (but as I told you on Tuesday.. yeah, not so much), and I was totally gonna get the house cleaned up so that we could have a sitter over.. But I didn't.

I suck.

My husband is very understanding about the suckitude. And I love him for that. But I still feel crappy about it. Not so much just over the whole Watchmen thing.. It's a movie, we'll see it eventually. It was a date.. we'll go on one sooner or later.. Maybe. I say that because the whole sucking thing is kind of a habit of mine. I'm pretty consistent actually. Oh well, someday I'll learn, right?

Meh.

A tale of two kitties...

So, I cleaned up my basement.. It was *loads* of fun. Get it? Loads? Yeah.

I grabbed me some plastic bags and headed down to attack the mess left from the flooding and.. the CATS. I covered my hands and scooped all the.. *stuff* into garbage bags. Toys, puzzle pieces, game bits, papers, garbage, and.. doodoo. Ick.

Then? I filled my bucket, grabbed my mop, and started scrubbing away. It took me two afternoons, but I got it done (it's a good sized basement..). Then? I went out and bought me a new broom and mop head.. and bucket.

I have not yet gone *under the stairs*.. it's a two person job. And.. it will be done.

I'm so done with the raining ice bologna that is going on here in Iowa. Seriously. It's January! Gimme some snow already!! I need a reason to get a new snow shovel after I use my not-in-the-best-shape-anyway current one for shoveling more doodie from *under the stairs*. Though, it seems an ice pick might come in more handy.. for the ice.. not the doodie.

*Sigh*.. cats.

So when I was done cleaning the basement, I ice-skated my way across the driveway (only I had no ice skates and narrowly escaped landing on my ass..) to swap a few bags of trash and poo for some skate boards and other such things that roll so I could put them in the basement for the short people. Kieran got himself a scooter for Christmas, along with a pogo ball (why do they have handles now?? where's the fun in that?) and Baby Jo got herself a rad set of wheels too. We purchased some hula-hoops as well and it's all down there for some good ol' fashioned outdoor fun to be had indoors. Good times.

I'm sitting in the living room the other day, enjoying having the kids downstairs making noise instead of in the room with me, and Wizmo comes trotting over. He hops up on the chest next to my chair and then down to the floor behind me... and pees. On the floor. In the corner behind my chair. WHILE I'M SITTING IN IT. He has balls.. literally and figuratively (yeah, we need to fix that problem..).

The. cats. have. got. to. go.

Olivia has harassed Kelly to the point that my dear old kitty will no longer come up from the basement. She still pees in any laundry pile she finds, and has also occasionally beat up on Gizmo.. her own flesh and feline blood. She has also, once again, increased the feline population in our home. (Which is mostly our own fault.. I say mostly because she's not actually *allowed* outside.. she sneaks out.)

Gizmo still (apparently) has not gotten over the bad potty habits that his mother taught him. I'm not so sure what his future holds.. You see, aside from the random tinkles, he is a model citizen. He loves the kids, is a wonderful snuggler, and is so entertaining. We'd love to keep him.. I'd not love to keep cleaning up after him.

Kelly.. My poor sweet Kelly. I hope that once Livvy and her brood are out, she will quickly readjust to having the house to herself and embrace her right to free roam. She does enjoy having a feline companion.. another reason for Gizmo to stick around.. but that could always come later.

Bacon and Sausage.. rather than being fried up for breakfast.. will go along with their mother to the shelter, in hopes of finding a happy new home (unless of course we can find families to take them home..).

Anyhow.. sorry this post is so boring. I just have nothing better to talk about at the moment! My mind is kind of sludgy these days.. No worries, I'm sure I'll come up with something brilliant soon.. Something that doesn't involve excrement.

Anybody want a cat??

Happy New Year!

Welcome, 2009... I'm so glad you've finally arrived! 2008 was not very nice to so many of us.. We have high hopes for you, 2009. Don't worry though, it won't take a whole lot to be better than 2008.. Kind of like it's not going to take Obama a whole lot of effort to do a better job than Bush. So long as he doesn't do any catastrophic damage in the next four years, he may just avoid a mutiny.

Now, I'm not normally one for New Year's Resolutions.. but I do have a few things in mind that I'd like to accomplish with your help, 2009. Sure, there's the typical eat better, exercise more, drop that extra 20lbs.. yadda yadda yadda.. But I'd also like to publish my book. Yeah, I know.. a big feat. But I mean it. Even if I have to self-publish. Heck, I've got plenty of people lined up and waiting for a copy that it would be worth it, right? Right. I've also got my other 'usuals'.. like I'd like to keep my house in better shape.. and I'd like to do a better job of home schooling.. and I'd like to stick to a budget so our bank account can stop bleeding like a stuck pig. Someday, right? Right.

Anyhow, like I said, we're all so happy to see you 2009. We hope you like it here and decide to stay a while. You'd have to do something really horrific to make yourself worse than 2008, so your job shouldn't be too terribly hard. Please... be good to us?

See that awesome doodle up there? I snagged it from Rick's site, Organized Doodles. He is some kind of awesome and if you haven't checked him out yet, you should now! Now is actually the perfect time to check him out.. why? because he's having his annual giveaway! That's right, free stuff. Go. You're welcome.

Why do you call it CHRISTmas??

I realize I may lose readers by saying this.. but I'm going to say it anyway..

I mean, honestly.. it's kind of insulting. If you are not CHRISTian.. and you celebrate that holiday that falls on December 25, why do you call it CHRISTmas?? Why not just call it GIVINGmas? or SOLSTICEmas? or WINTERmas? Wouldn't that make more sense? or.. better yet, make fun of our economy's stance and call it SPENDmas! After all, Christmas is the season for spending.. right? Because with out spending there would be not giving, and no recieving, right??

Wrong.

Because Christmas is about recieving Christ. It's about God giving His son. It's not about 'holiday spirit', it's about the Holy Spirit. And if you don't believe in any of it, why call it Christmas? why even celebrate it?

I once asked a friend of mine this. Her mother and step-father are Christian. Her husband is an ex-Mormon. She is a 'non-believer'. For her children? she plans to 'present both sides of the argument and let them decide'. I asked her one year (I was providing part time babysitting for her son at the time), 'Why do you celebrate Christmas? I mean.. what is it about in your house?'

She said: Well, you know.. we like to do the Santa thing and celebrate the season of giving and stuff like that. I don't know.. it's just fun, you know? Why not?

I don't get it.

Yes, I realize that the December 25 holiday is not 'in fact' the day Christ was born. I fully understand that the whole holiday came about as a response from the church to the heathens and their seasonal celebrations. They wanted to give the heathens a Christian holiday to celebrate so that they could still enjoy holiday tradidions but with a Christian spin. They created Christmas. The way I explain this to my children: You know how sometimes you have a birthday party on a day that's not really your birthday? because that day, for whatever reason, works better for celebrating? That's kind of what Christmas is like. It's not the day Jesus was born, but it IS the day we celebrate his birth.

A lot of Christians get a bit miffed over the whole PC issue that has come up in recent years - the idea that we should all be saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of Merry Christmas. Honestly? I don't mind it at all. Partly because one of our best friends happens to be Jewish. It does make more sense to go about with 'Happy Holidays' on our lips, because we never know what the recipient might actually celebrate.

J asked a WalMart checker the other day "How was your Christmas?" without really thinking much of it. The young man answered "Actually, I don't celebrate Christmas. I celebrate Hannukah." To which we replied "Well, Happy Hannukah then! how is it going?" and had a conversation about what kind of traditions his family had and about our favorite Jewish foods and where to get them. Mmmm... Maybe I'll make some latkes this weekend..

Anyhow. So yeah, it irritates me that so many people claim to celebrate Christmas. I wish they would just get over it and come up with some other secular name for what they celebrate - like Clausemas, or Buycrapmas or something like that.. and quit claiming a Christian holiday as their own. Not just all the non-believers out there, but especially those who claim to be atheist and say they celebrate Christmas. For real? 'I am certain there is NO God.. but I will celebrate the birth of His son.' HA!

No, I don't believe that Christmas is for everyone. I don't care if you want to pass out presents on December 25.. but why not just call it Santa Day or some other stupid name? If there is no Christ, there is no Christmas.

Guess I'm just a bad apple after all..

Lately? I feel like Lord of the Flies. Lady? No, Lord sounds cooler.

Seriously, our house has been inundated with flies for MONTHS. It is utterly ridiculous. I'm about to lose my ever loving mind. I can NOT figure out where these stupid flies are reproducing. Yes, reproducing. The most annoying part of it, right now, is that there are little bitty baby flies EVERYWHERE.

Don't flies start out as maggots? I don't see any maggots...

Is it the litter box? Is it the cloth diaper 'dirty pail'? Is it that mountain (that seems to grow as fast as I can knock it down) of dirty dishes in the sink? Is there rotten food hiding in there? Is it because of Wizmo's potty training issues? Is there some dead thing hiding somewhere in my house that I don't know about? Wouldn't that cause a smell too? Is it the kids? The mounds of laundry that make my floors look more like rolling hills? Is it my husband? Me? My toothbrush? Did someone just fart? Am I up to 20 questions yet? No? Now? No? Should I ask a few more? Are you even reading anymore? No? Dang.

Well, since no one is even reading anymore..

I swear I'm not that bad of a housekeeper.. Am I? Sure, I go through what I like to call 'phases' of being more dirty than usual.. but not to the point that my home should become an insect love nest. I suppose the fact that I'm afraid to do ALL the dishes because I just don't know what might be lurking in the bottom of the 'dirty side' of my sink should have me concerned.. The 'clean side' isn't so bad.. I mean, I wash the diapers at least once a week (usually more like every 2-3 days).. Perhaps my kids are just leaving random bits of fruit around to rot and thus attracting these nasty bugs that way.. Hell, I don't know.. I just don't get it.

We've put up the sticky paper and there's LOTS of dead flies on it.. and still, they reproduce. These things are worse than rabbits. The one effective method I've found for killing the babies? (One just flew by my head..)Leave out some booze (doesn't matter what kind.. beer, wine, liquor.. I find dark beer or red wine work very well), just a little in the bottom of the bottle, can, or glass and they will flock to it and drink themselves to death. Still not good enough though.

I don't even want to think about how many we might be eating in our sleep..

I'm starting to think I must smell like a ginormous walking cow pie or something because I feel like I live in a swarm of 'fruit flies'. Does that make me more like a piece of rotten fruit?