Guess I'm just a bad apple after all..

Lately? I feel like Lord of the Flies. Lady? No, Lord sounds cooler.

Seriously, our house has been inundated with flies for MONTHS. It is utterly ridiculous. I'm about to lose my ever loving mind. I can NOT figure out where these stupid flies are reproducing. Yes, reproducing. The most annoying part of it, right now, is that there are little bitty baby flies EVERYWHERE.

Don't flies start out as maggots? I don't see any maggots...

Is it the litter box? Is it the cloth diaper 'dirty pail'? Is it that mountain (that seems to grow as fast as I can knock it down) of dirty dishes in the sink? Is there rotten food hiding in there? Is it because of Wizmo's potty training issues? Is there some dead thing hiding somewhere in my house that I don't know about? Wouldn't that cause a smell too? Is it the kids? The mounds of laundry that make my floors look more like rolling hills? Is it my husband? Me? My toothbrush? Did someone just fart? Am I up to 20 questions yet? No? Now? No? Should I ask a few more? Are you even reading anymore? No? Dang.

Well, since no one is even reading anymore..

I swear I'm not that bad of a housekeeper.. Am I? Sure, I go through what I like to call 'phases' of being more dirty than usual.. but not to the point that my home should become an insect love nest. I suppose the fact that I'm afraid to do ALL the dishes because I just don't know what might be lurking in the bottom of the 'dirty side' of my sink should have me concerned.. The 'clean side' isn't so bad.. I mean, I wash the diapers at least once a week (usually more like every 2-3 days).. Perhaps my kids are just leaving random bits of fruit around to rot and thus attracting these nasty bugs that way.. Hell, I don't know.. I just don't get it.

We've put up the sticky paper and there's LOTS of dead flies on it.. and still, they reproduce. These things are worse than rabbits. The one effective method I've found for killing the babies? (One just flew by my head..)Leave out some booze (doesn't matter what kind.. beer, wine, liquor.. I find dark beer or red wine work very well), just a little in the bottom of the bottle, can, or glass and they will flock to it and drink themselves to death. Still not good enough though.

I don't even want to think about how many we might be eating in our sleep..

I'm starting to think I must smell like a ginormous walking cow pie or something because I feel like I live in a swarm of 'fruit flies'. Does that make me more like a piece of rotten fruit?

Big whistling boobies...

So I sat down to rest this afternoon after cleaning up the living room. This generally entails me sweeping all the crap that's accumulated on the floor into one big pile and then the kids and I go at it.. putting away what needs putting away and throwing away what's left.

In celebration of the floor being clean, Princess launched into a lovely, narrated interpretive dance. She grabbed my studded belt and wrapped it across her chest like a beauty pageant sash and announced..

"Mine song is in my boobies!"

She danced and twirled around the room, screaming that phrase over and over as we watched and giggled. Then she came back to me and said..

"My boobies is singing yahoo!"

More dancing around the room while screaming 'Yahoo' over and over..

"So your boobies are singing 'yahoo'?"
"Yep.. My booboos are big, see?" flashes me
"Oh, I see. They're very nice."
"My na-nas are yissowing."
"They're what?"
"Yiss-ow-ing."
"Whistling?"
"Yep."

And she then launches herself into another flight across the floor, prancing and twirling and screaming..

"My yissow! My yissow" only it sounded more like 'My asshole.'

We all cracked UP.

Then it was her butt.

"My butt is stan up."
"Your butt is going to stand up?"
"Yup."

Okay...

"My butt is going jump."
"Jumping butt?"
"Yup."

On and on she goes.. when she'll stop nobody knows... I love two year olds. Endless entertainment, and head aches, and giggles, and heart aches...

But dear, you're too little to be talking about your 'big boobies'.

The Rocket Summer - Do You Feel

I'm so glad they did a video for this song.. it's one of my favorites.



Plus, they have both Matt Thiesen and Mike Herrerra in there.. that's like a 1000 bonus points right there.